Today is . I have a quarter to my name and I’m dreaming of payphones. All I want from this life, sister, is to step into a phone booth, spend my last quarter, and dial a number. All I want is to say “Hi. It’s me.” I’ve often thought about what fun it would be to take one of those cellular phones, grease it down with vaseline, and then stick it up my butt. Then I’d walk to a row of pay-phones in the McDonald’s downtown and dial the number for the cellular phone and see how long it would take before people couldn’t help but to look up from their shitburgers to stare at my ringing ass.
Matthew Remski, Dying For Veronica